Because Snaphubar, Though Apt, Would've Been Overkill

Suck It, California State Bar Exam


That's false bravado - 30 seconds ago I was about to shit a brick. Sorry, shouldn't use words like that. 30 seconds ago, I was about to shit a rock.

To everyone who has stayed with me through this process - though all of law school and the bar - thank you. I know it wasn't pretty and I wasn't pleasant. But now we can put the whole mess behind us and we never have to worry about it again.

Unless the website was mistaken and my letter says I failed. Shit. I want that letter . . .

I also re-read the screen about 50 times, OCD style, because suddenly I'm not sure I can still read.

But it's over. It's over, it's over, it's over.

The Homestretch


[Cross posted from the main page]

Or continues, depending on how you look at it.

As of this posting, approximately 101 hours and 50 minutes remain until the Attorney Idol results show.

Coming Soon: Phubar, The Results Show

Well, not too soon, actually . . . .

Unless especially bar-y things come up between now and the Big Reveal on May 19th, or I suddenly remember anything super-useful or entertaining to share with you about BarBri, PMBR, the exam, or the process generally, and feel like writing it down, I don't expect to post here for the next few months. I also don't want to rush the results or dwell on their release because that would rush my vacation which would spoil the fun.

If you're curious about what I'm up to for the next few months, drop me a line at christiana at phoblographer dot com and I'll let you know.

Otherwise, the last word here for awhile is this: I've read several other sites where bloggers have received good news on the day their results were released. I've also read a few where the bloggers had to suck it up, post that they failed, and discuss their next steps. I'd really hate to write the latter post. In fact, I dread it. So let's just hope I never have to.

Thanks for reading - we'll see you back here on or about May 19, 2006.

So, the plans were simple. Post-bar, there would be a party, a day off, a party, a bubbly brunch, and back to SF.

There was a post-bar party - which was great. And a good day off as well. Then on the way to the next party, my car turned wheels up in the middle of the street, at night, with no lights. It was FANtastic, let me tell you. I hoped against hope that it was just a battery thing, but no.

Guess who's the proud owner of a new alternator and battery? THIS girl, right here. Fan-f*cking-tastic.

Brunch was fully of bubbles today, though.

At any rate, I'm going to do my best to get back to San Francisco with all my cylinders intact and then be both efficient and relaxed while I'm there just long enough to get my messy belongings under control and myself packed and down to LA to spend time with the fam before leaving for Europe.

Steve asked if this site gets jettisoned now or after the results come back. I think those are two, too narrow options. Plus, I don't like to think of jettisoning any of my writing. And the net never forgets anyway, so it'd always be cached somewhere (which is very scary, yes). This site will be around for awhile, but I would guess at this point that it will be all but silent except for infrequent law/bar related updates. There may be more Spawn of Phoblog launched soon. Or there might not.

In the meantime, here are some questions I'd love not to answer anymore. Others who have taken the bar or faced similar challenges will understand why I say this. I don't want to be a bitch about it, no slinking off murmuring "I vant to be alone." But I would guess everyone hits these transition points wishing they had a tear-off pad on their chests that would give inquisitors the highlights. Here, then, are the answers to the top 5 questions I don't feel like answering anymore. Because there are no answers:

1.) I felt good about the exam. As good as you can after you block out the MBE. I felt good enough about enough essays and PTs that, should I fail the bar based on my performance on two essays - or even just one essay - I will be crushed because all that hard work and possible accomplishment on the others was for nothing and will mean nothing at all. On the other hand, should I fail outright on many essays and the MBEs, I will be equally crushed because it felt okay and if it felt okay and I got mostly questions that felt strong to me, then what happens when they seem hard. I don't want to fail. I don't want to do it again. So don't ask how it went, because you'll find out when I do, give or take a few days.
2.) I don't have a job and I don't know what I'm doing. I believe I will return to Sacramento and look for work like I used to do, because it made me happy and life is too short and too uncertain to waste time doing what you think you "should" be doing. And yes, I am living in a bubble of my own creation in which I come home and get a job in short order because that's the way it's going to have to work. It just has to. Student loans start coming due in June.
3.) I don't know. I'm going and we'll see. As with points 1 and 2, this is out of my control.
4.) Yes, I'm going for that long. I know it's unnatural for Americans, but seriously, don't you wish we operated that way? I do.
5.) Phoblographer* will still exist. As for this site, it will stay up until the bar process is complete and then we'll figure out what might happen to it next. And, by way of a teaser, in the words of a great old Jedi: there is another . . . .

Applying law to facts


This is true: 'The law of the sea is finders keepers'.

But not in all countries, mind you. I think it's an excellent summary of the American ideology. In most other countries, what you find in the sea is the queen's or the state's. Here, it's all mine mine mine, just like those seagulls in Finding Nemo.

Well, that's over



This afternoon's PT assignment was to draft an appellate mediation brief. No big thang. Except the facts were really ungood for our client. So it was an exercise of how well can you bullshit for your client. Hopefully, I can bullshit well enough.

It's all in someone else's hands now.

The only thing I want in my hands is a brandy manhattan. Then a cosmo. Then a beer. Then some more . . . .

Off to chops. And the rest of my life.

Lucky Was A Lady


Question 4: Civil M'F-ing Procedure! Personal Freakin' Jurisdiction and Res Judicata and Collateral Estoppel. Booyah. My knowledge of nonmutual offensive collateral estoppel buzzwords might still have been inadequate, but all in all, absolute best thing to face first thing this morning.

Question 5: the fabled Contracts/PR crossover. Better than a straight PR question in some regards, but the first contract interog, usually one of my stronger subjects, was a bit of a head-scratcher today. If I lost here, it will be for lack of proper answer organization and a unwarranted bungling of the law. I may have pulled enough out of my ass and tossed in enough headings to salvage. The PR component? Well, despite re-reading those outlines many times, still never really stuck or grasped the best plan of attack with a K crossover. Here, a lawyer represented his client's business legal matters and then contracted with her - maybe - to sell some goods via his independent surplus sales business. The agreement gets all mucked up, he pockets some profits he probably shouldn't have. Discuss. I did, to the best of my abilities. But only time will tell if I'm ethical enough for their purposes.

Question 6: Criminal Procedure with a dash of criminal law (imperfect defense of others - hmm, I didn't use the word "imperfect" come to think of it. And I think it was imperfect, anyway, whatever). Deft assaults and batters a cop arresting his friend. He gets nabbed the next day by cop acting under a precise description from the assaulted officer. She arrests and finds coke in his pocket (the kind in a baggie, not a bottle, natch). Suppressed or in? Then she Mirandizes and he says no lawyer no talkie. He's stuck in a line-up, no counsel present, but THEN is charged. ID in or out? The next day cop re-Mirandizes, gets waiver, and interrogates. He cops to cop beating. In or out? So on parts 1 -3 we got your 4th, 5th, 6th, and 14th Amendments and the exclusionary rule and the exceptions to warrantless searches, etc. Part 4 was whether he got that defense of others thing right. My answer: I don't know, but I filled two grafs with my best guess.

So for those keeping score at home:

Good: Questions 1, 4, and 6; PT 1
On the fence: Questions 2, 5
Icky feeling in the tummy: Question 3, MBEs

The worst thing would be to feel amped now but fail in the end because it means even when things break your way, they don't.

One more session left, nothing to do for it but show up and bring the 1440 game.

A: Flap flap flap


Q: What is the sound of one girl winging it?

It's 8:19am. Across the street, they've just opened the doors to the examination hall. I'll leave here in a few minutes, get set up, and breathe deeply until it starts. And then until it finishes.

The rooms in which the exam is administered are the very same in which John Kerry spoke all those conventions ago, before he was the nominee. I remember thinking that I liked him. He was funny enough. He made a joke about his prostate. Gotta love prostate jokes. I thought, yeah, okay, I could back this guy.

The next day, Howard Dean spoke in front of general session and I had found my pony.

I find myself wondering each day if it's a good omen or a bad omen that the test is held where it is. Kerry lost, but overall, I won by leaving school and working for him. Leaving school is what landed me in Sacramento for this particular sitting of the Bar anyway - so I guess there's some kind of circular harmony there. Or something.

That or the room has a loser's aura and we're all doomed. Do they report passage rates by city?

It's 8:22am now. It's time to go. Best case scenario: Civil Procedure (PJxn and/or SMJxn, but no preclusion issues, please); Evidence; Crim Law/Pro (even though I don't feel solid on it). Worst case: CP again, PR on two questions, and Corp because it's the issue I know most thoroughly and thus am least capable of answering in Barese.

8:24am. Almost there . . . .



Law & Order really does help:

Judge: Doesn't res judicata bar this claim?

Cute Girl ADA: No your honor, Mr. Blah blah was not a party to the first action.

Ha! Watch me learn.

Schrodinger's Exam


I was surprised to wrap up today's afternoon session of the MBE and feel not-exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I was tired, but I think I felt more spent last night than tonight.

But what I do feel tonight is fear. Pure, unadulterated fear.

It came on towards the end of dinner. And then it smacked me upside the head. Hard.

Back at the hotel, I grabbed my stack of outlines and collapsed onto the bed. The subjects ballooned in my hands and suddenly what was a reasonable number of subjects and magic words became an unreasonable amount of stuff I just don't know.

See, I might have lost the game already. That question 3 had a lot of holes in it, I know that. Or the MBEs - they've always been a weakness. I score the same all the time, within a few questions, but that margin could lose it for me too. Or maybe I am passing right now - but I fumble tomorrow. So we don't know what will happen. What's the state of the exams in the box? Too many chips, too many places for them to fall. And suddenly, it seemed insurmountable.

I read over the outlines and things just kept getting worse. Then, I stopped. I didn't stop reading, just stopped panicking. Sort of. Enough. I hate that I can't even even discount what's already been tested. I hate that there will probably be a PR question. I hate that all three of tomorrow's questions could make me feel like question 3. I hate that in a few months, everyone who comes to celebrate with me tomorrow night might know that I didn't pass. I hate that I might know that I didn't pass. I hate that the results come out on the first night of my college reunion. I hate that my boyfriend isn't here. I hate that I am letting myself run on like this when this is, honestly, just another goddamn test that only says anything about me because I'm letting it - because I elected to let it - because I paid them to let it. This isn't me. I was really enjoying being me for the last 8 months or so and I don't like moving away from that standard again.


But tomorrow is coming. There are just 3 hours of bad stuff left and then 3 hours of stuff for which I can't study.

So I'll sign off. I hope to look back on this post someday and laugh at myself for being so worried. I hope, I hope, I hope.

I'm going to watch the end of a Law & Order re-run now. Because that's just like studying.

A lotta Ds


At one point, somewhere around question 158 or so, I looked at my answer sheet and thought, "whoa, lotta Ds there." Then I wondered if there really were that many Ds. I mean, when you're bubbling in the third D in a row it's like, sheesh, another D? What if it isn't a D. I mean, 3 Ds in a row? Why? What if this one is B? But what if this one is D and the last one was A? Crap, that's a lot of Ds. Must not all be correct. I mean, I know they aren't all correct, but still. That's a lot of Ds. Unless it's intentional. They made a bunch of Ds just to mess with our heads.

First thing I hear upon leaving examination room:

Unknown guy to other unknown guy: "Seemed like there were a lot of Ds."
Other unknown guy in response: "Yeah, like in the 150s, just noticed a bunch of Ds."

So that either means I'm okay. Or I'm as fucked as those unknown guys, but just in a similar way.

I HATE the MBE. Seriously, it's such a pile of poo. Not to mention, everytime I bubble in an answer, I wonder if it's the one wrong answer that prevents me from getting to that magic 1440.

I can almost see the dots rearrange themselves to spell out "July" on the answer sheet.

The Reluctant Blawger

  • Here, we tackle the bar with that patented Phoblog wit. But with much more navel gazing. And who doesn't love navel gazing?
  • A Rambling Explanation

Last posts



ATOM 0.3